Apr 10, 2012
So, we’re five games into the wacky reign of the delightful Oscar Pareja, a name which, when pronounced by those in the know, sounds a lot more exotic than when pronounced by an ignorant Brit like myself. I thought this would be a good opportunity to write some unstructured ramblings on how much I’m enjoying the season and how I think we’re doing so far. Strap yourselves in…
Rapids 2 – 0 Crew – The game against the team we always beat.
I love Drew Moor. I love him more than anything. More than Crumpets, more than Game of Thrones, and even more than Mountain Dew. A goal means more than a goal to me when he scores. It was a unstoppable bullet header from my man crush which put us 1-0 up, and an equally brilliant ‘goal of the season contender’ strike
from Amarikwa sealed the points. Pickens and his beard also had a fabulous game. Some say that Pickens stores all his powers in his beard. I personally believe that underneath his beard is another fist for saving shots with.
So a good First Kick win and then we went on to…
Union 1 – 2 Rapids – The game where we only needed 10 men.
To start with, this game proved that even refs love Drew Moor. Because it was clearly a foul which should have had him sent off in the first 30 seconds. But he’s Drew Moor. No one sends off Drew Moor…errr anyway…this was a brilliant win. We showed against Red Bulls how vulnerable we are without Our Lord The Ginger, so to win the game with not just 10 men, but 10 men who didn’t include him, was a fantastic team effort. It was nice to see two new signings get on the scoresheet as well, especially the boy Cascio. I don’t know much about the college soccer system in America, but it would be delightful if we could pick up a few more like him in the coming drafts. Looking at his UConn Huskies record, he scored 19 in 60 appearances, which is a tasty little record for a midfielder. Let’s hope he keeps banging them in.
So we were 2-0-0, but then…
Energy Drink 4 – 1 Rapids – The game where Ross LaBauex wasn’t Jeff Larentowicz.
First things first, Energy Drink goalkeeper Ryan Meara looks about 8 years old. Why are 8 year olds allowed to play in the MLS? Anyhow, this game was over after the first 6 minutes, when Ross Labauex seemingly forgot what team he was playing for and passed the ball straight to that French guy to open the scoring. Cooper The Giant then made it 2-0 before this writer had even found a stream in which to watch the game from his English townhouse. A glorious finish from Cummings only slightly masked what a poor performance this was. Ah well, at least the 20 odd thousand Red Bulls fan who pretend that they actually care about the team, and are definitely not just
there to watch Henry, went home happy. That’s if it is actually possible to be happy living in New York. At least they gave us Friends.
So we managed to escape down the beanstalk away from Cooper The Giant and went on to…
The Ginga Ninja and His Massive Shorts
Rapids 2 – 0 Fire – The game where Jeff Larentowicz wore massive shorts.
Seriously, if you don’t know what I’m talking about, watch the highlights from this game again. Ginga Ninja is wearing absolutely massive shorts. Must have been from the same batch that Kamani Hill’s came from, as they were also massive. So big, I didn’t know who had scored our 2nd goal, Hill, or his shorts. This was also our first chance to have a look at some guy called Rivero, who lots of people have been making a noise about and my it was worth that wait, the most exciting player at the Rapids since the legend that was Terry Cooke.
Rivero is our new poster boy (sorry Drew) and I’m now starting to see what all the fuss was about. Still early days, obviously, but I can’t wait to see how this guy works with Conor Casey. Also, 60% possession, you were well and truly doused Chicago. Chicago Candles. Chicago Ashes.
So things were looking bright again, surely we would regain the Rocky Mountain Cup…
R**L S**t L**e 2 – 0 Rapids – The game where Espindola cheated. Again.
I’m refusing to talk about this game because I hate Stupid Name FC so much.
Despite our most recent game against those who shall not be named, I’m actually loving this season and our new style of play. Rivero is a very exciting talent and with Casey coming back very soon, things will keep looking up for the most amazing team in the MLS
Until next time. COYRapids.
Another brilliant article from Tommy Newbold, who writes from a quaint townhouse in England and bleeds burgundy too!